if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
