Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
