She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize