what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
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