I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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