and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
