Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
