he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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