omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize