Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
