do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
