You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Randomize
