I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize