You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Randomize