dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize