Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
