She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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