I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
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