You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
