It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
