I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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