I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
