I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
