I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
