I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
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