Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
