SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize