about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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