you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
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