Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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