If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
