I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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