im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
