David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize
