Sry I called you an 8
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
