No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Randomize
