where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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