I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
