So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
