Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Randomize
