i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Randomize