How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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