"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
