While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Randomize
