I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
