tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
