Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I wear drunk well.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
