i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
