every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
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