you turned your livingroom into a bong?
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
