I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
