I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
