I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
