Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Randomize
