I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
As shirtless as possible
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
