I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
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