if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
