i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
