they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Randomize
