Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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