Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
