His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
