you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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