i always forget guys have bellybuttons
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
