woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
oh god was she eating orange peels again
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize