Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
