youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize