So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
