their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
