I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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