allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
