There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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