remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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