I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
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