I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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