i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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