I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
