Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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