Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
