Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
