it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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