matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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