Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize