Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
